Designing an Equal Parenting Plan: The Ultimate Guide

Dipannita Das
15 Min Read

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Parenting is not an easy job. You may have read books, took the session, and discuss with parenting experts, but everything is in vain when you come to reality. When you are in real practice of parenting journey, then get to understand what is right and what is wrong for you as parents and for your kids.

Designing an Equal Parenting Plan: The Ultimate Guide 1

Kids And Parenting

It is a journey that parents sail through and learns new things on this journey. Though parenting comes with a handy manual, you still have to explore ideas in your style. Every kid is different from each other. The thing which works for your child is not necessary that it will work for the other child.

Every child goes through their own set of issues and problems. You have to correlate with those problems rather than making corrections. Once the child understands that you being a friend, then they will quickly open up to you.

In modern days, parenting gets a new meaning and, i.e., equal parenting. Well, in equal parenting, both mother and father share the load of the parenting journey. So, if you have an equal parenting plan in your mind, then the first thing that you must to do is to have a proper balance in your married life.

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Education Is The Key To Parenting

Boost the child’s self-esteem and make them independent. Kids always copy their parents. They see themselves from their parents’ eyes. Your body language, voice tone, and attitude shape them the person they want to be. What you feed your baby that lies upon you. Good things will give a good return, and bad things will offer bad returns.

Scolding and negative words do not take your child anywhere. To boost their morale, you have to compliment your child. Reform your scolding in positive affirmation so that your child can constructively grab the fault. Scolding can only increase arrogance in your child.

Set the discipline for your child, and you have to be consistent in your discipline routine. One day you just give a warning, and the next day you forget about it. NO. Every household should have discipline in the house that everyone needs to follow.
You may be a busy person at the office, but do not forget to make time for kids. Children need your quality time, and in that space, they only need you and not any external things to let you entertain. Be an active parent and escort your child to swimming class, dance class, or just a regular sports day at school.

Designing an Equal Parenting Plan: The Ultimate Guide 3

Do not just let your kids ask to do things without explaining. Like adults, children also need an explanation of things that they are doing. It will help them to think logically. They will understand that the things they are doing have some logic behind it.

Love is all your kid need. You may criticize your kids’ activity, but do not stop showing your unconditional love to your child. The desire for your child should not come with conditions. Irrespective of any, your love should find its way for your child.
You are not a Superman or Superwoman. You are a normal human being who has own has his needs and even limitations. You should understand both of them and set boundaries. Your child must respect your needs too. It will shape them to earn their respect also.

Parenting jobs is not easy, and you need a hell lot of patience. So, dig deep into your own needs and limitations and reform it in your personal style. It will help you grow as an individual.

As your child grows up, your parenting style also changes. Hence, you need to keep flexibility in your parenting style. The style of parenting you did to your 2-years old kid will not be the same for a 13-yers old kid. So, try to be flexible, understand your child’s needs and demands, and accordingly act to guide your child in the best possible way.

This article will help you with how you can take an equal parenting concept in today’s world. It might sound new, but a little knowledge, a little practice, and a mix of traditional parenting will give you the right direction towards equal parenting ideas.
Well, partners may have differences in their opinions, but when they become parents, they have to have synchronization in the parenting journey. Equal parenting plan becomes successful only when you both follow these things:

  • Modern parenting concepts
  • Respect each others parenting
  • Solve the issues of personal opinion when a kid is not around
  • Be grounded and positive in front of your child.

In this article, I will divide the equal parenting plan into different types of parents. So, you can check the following equal parenting ideas based on the parents:

Married Parents

Our society thinks it is a bliss for kids to have married parents. It is because the kids will get the love, care, and time of both the parents. In this situation, fathers are working, and mothers mostly stay at home mom or freelancer mom. In equal parenting, it hardly makes a difference when one partner falls into the income group. Even if you are working, you should balance with the other partner.
You can divide the child’s activities among each other. Also, you can share the responsibilities in the alternate days. These ways, you can balance among each other, mitigate the problems, and handle your child’s needs and demands in a smart move.

Working Parents

Working parents always feel guilty in whatever parenting situation they are. To meet up their guilt, they sometimes stuff kids with gifts and chocolates. It is again awful parenting because all that a kid wants is the time of their parents. They somehow find solace in loneliness and understand, but parents have no time.
The responsibility of working parents is to understand the need of your child. I know you are not spending time with kids 24 hours. Hence, the time you get to utilize it to know your kid, the mood, the demand. Try to be friends rather than parents. Share the responsibilities as parents on weekends. Children love talking to their parents.

So, be an active member in conversation. It will help both the parents to create a good bond with your kids. Even the children will learn to show respect to your work and time. Slowly they will understand the importance of working parents. So, do not lose your cool after office, throw away all your office tensions at the office only and come home again to spend quality family time.

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Long-Distance Parents

It is quite evident that one parent stays away from their hometown because of work, and kids stay with another parent. Most of the time, the kid will get to talk with another parent over the phone, via video call. Physically they are unable to be present with the kid. Communication is the key to an equal parenting plan
Hence, it’s essential for the parent who stays long distance to come home and visit the child monthly, bi-weekly, or weekly if you stay in a nearby town. This is a major factor in an equal parenting plan. If visiting affects the financial policy of the couple, then one parent must update all the details about the child, for example- school activities, education, extra curriculum, behavior, moral education, everything. So, even if anything falls short, the long-distance parent must know all the whereabouts.

Divorced Parents

Sometimes, it is evident that couples do not have a mutual understanding. In that case, it is a better decision to part ways than to survive in a toxic relationship. If you are undergoing divorce proceedings and you have kids, then it is better to have proper planning. Also, there are three types of custody, i.e., sole, split, and shared care. The most demanding is sole custody. The charge of the child usually goes to the mother until there is no requirement.

Though, as individuals, you may have different opinions, an equal parenting plan mitigates your differences and agrees. A child wants happy parents so that the child can grow up to be a reliable and confident individual. In parenting, there is no win or loss. Remember, you are not here to control the life of the kid; you are here to smoothen the parenting journey despite your differences.

You both have to decide on vacations, holidays, parenting schedules, visit extended family, and even friends, both must discuss expenses. When you are away, you must communicate with kids through calls, video calls, or emails. Give importance to your child while taking any major decisions. This way, the kid will not feel left out.

As our law, the child will get financial support from both the parents. Custody does not matter here. You just need to pay the cheque for the child’s support.
Before the court grants the divorce, the judge may ask you about the parenting plan. You must focus on specific questions of parenting plan like what goals you prefer to have an effective parenting plan? How will you perform co-parenting from different households? How you want your child to look upon this divorce in the future?

Parenting looks tough for divorced parents. You have to be clear about your goals, financial expenses, society, schools, peer groups to your child. Maybe your kid is small now, but you have to decide how you want your child to be when they grow up as an adult.

You have to grow your child as a confident individual. Do not involve in an ugly spat for this custody battle. Kids only want parents who are loving, caring, and happy. If both of you do not want to stay in a toxic marriage, then part ways to becomes happy individuals for your child. Kids are smarter in understanding the difference between real happiness and fake happiness.

equal parenting plan

Single Parent

You are a single parent for whatever reason is your take. In the concept of the equal parenting plan, it is a different concept. One partner is off. You have the entire responsibility of managing your kid.

Whatever is the need and demand of the kid, you are the only source for your kids. Financially and emotionally, you both have each other back. Hence, from a very early age, your kid should understand your flexibility and constraint.

You have to go to work, and even you have to attend your kid’s sports day. So, you need to balance both the situation diligently. Kids are vulnerable to understand your pressure. It is a soft situation that you need to handle in a significant way.

The child of a single parent grows emotionally stable, and they cope up with the loneliness. They become mature of their age and feel that the single parent is taking the entire responsibility of equal parenting plan.

Equal parenting plan does not come with a manual. It is a modern-day concept that progressive parents follow. They do not question the traditional parenting concept, but they include the modern style of parenting. It gives the flexibility to explore the new methods of parenting in their style.

Today’s kids are fast, active, and too much prone to new world and technology. Hence, parents are also taking measures to resolve the disadvantages of modern style parenting.

Though equal parenting plan is a modern concept, still you cannot miss the learnings if traditional parenting. It is good and bad for every single thing. Hence, if you want to explore the new ideas of equal parenting, then you must respect and take the good aspects of traditional parenting that your mom and grandmom tried on you. Trust me, it will instill more confidence in you, and your child will get positive parenting and turn into a better ti best person in the future.

Suggested reads: What do Babies Think About

Last Updated on by Sathi

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