Abuse, be it, physical or mental is not okay. If you have to ask, if my girlfriend hit me, can I take it normal?ย it means that there is definitely something wrong and you are going through an abusive relationship. Mostly, people donโt know that women hit men as men are most likely to report fewer incidents of domestic violence but sadly, even men become invisible victims of domestic abuse.
There can be a lot of issues in the relationship but physical violence is never the solution. If your girlfriend hits you, then it is a clear sign of a toxic relationship. Hitting shows that she has very underdeveloped emotional stability and is unable to communicate in a healthy way. There can be a lot of causes that influence her decision such as a traumatizing past, childhood abuse, and anger issues. No matter what the cause, it does not justify your girlfriend hitting you because no one deserves to feel unsafe by the person they love.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is a kind of violence that includes getting hit by the victimโs domestic circle. It is committed by family members, partners, or ex-partners. Domestic violence takes place in many forms- physical, mental, and even sexual harassment. It specially involves intimate partner violence. Certain kinds of behaviors that fall under domestic violence are:-
- If your girlfriend attacks you or threatens to attack you.
- If your girlfriend threatens or attempts to kill you.
- Hitting, scratching, biting, grabbing, or pushing you.
- Destroying objects that are your possession.
- Trying to create fear or horror in your mind of physical violence.
- Threatening or hurting your family member or loved ones.
This kind of bad behavior from your girlfriend is completely unacceptable and no matter how much you love her, you should not tolerate physical aggression. The main cause of intimate partner violence can be a mental health condition or an underlying urge to control you. Here are certain reasons why women hit men.
Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Hits You
Letโs talk about the potential numerous reasons why your girlfriend hits you:-
She Has No Respect For You
It will be impossible for your girlfriend to hit you if she respects you. Some women tend to disrespect men in general and quite often, it is a learned behavior from some other female figure in their lives who abused or treated men as a punching bag behind closed doors. It might have happened that you had a discussion with your girlfriend and there had been a disagreement and it led to physical abuse or you might have made a joke and your girlfriend did not like it which led to her hitting you. Scratching, biting, pushing or any such means of domestic abuse are the warning signs and you should not totally not let it go.
It might have happened that you got angry because of her bad behavior and she manipulated that whole situation to be your fault because you donโt know how to take a joke. Maybe she even says that sheโs punishing you to make your behavior better and that it is better for your relationship. Maintain firm boundaries in your relationship and do not get convinced by it, and tell her that it bothers you.
She Has Anger Issues
There are certain factors that trigger anger issues such as stress, personal problems, abusive past, and personality disorder but if the tiniest inconvenience causes your girlfriend to lash out and hit you, then these are major red flags. Anger is a negative but normal emotion but when it reaches a point where the anger is turning into aggression and intimate partner abuse, then the trouble begins.
You may notice that this kind of behavior is not just with you but with almost everyone around her. Sheโs angry most of the time and she neither knows how to communicate in a healthy manner nor does she treat anyone with respect. Conditions such as bipolar disorder can also trigger abuse and violence where your girlfriend can physically attack you for a mere inconvenience and not think of it as a big deal. It is not normal behavior, so you should not let it sweep away and ask her to seek professional help for a healthy relationship.
She Had Abusive Past Relationships
If a woman has a behavior problem, then we must look at the history first. It is not normal for your female partner to hit you if she did not have any abusive past. It might be emotionally difficult for you to dig into your girlfriendโs past but you should talk to her and understand if she had experienced abuse be it physical abuse or emotional abuse. It is a huge sign of the violence and abuse that she is putting you through.
Victims of abusive relationships generally tend to normalize hitting back as means of self-defense. Some men tend to abuse their partners to show that they are physically stronger and that they can do whatever they want behind closed doors. This is an example of toxic masculinity and this is totally wrong. There is no justification for this behavior and you should immediately call the police if you or someone close to you is going through this. Your girlfriend might have been abused by her ex-partner and now you are a punching bag for all her past traumas. Instead of thinking โIs it normal for my girlfriend to hit meโ, itโs time for you to decide to put an end to this abuse and violence. Talk it out with her. Do not suffer and do not let her suffer because of her traumatizing past and go for a couple therapy if needed.
She Has an Abusive Personality from the Beginning
It is obvious that the thought coming to you after the hitting and physical violence has crossed a certain point. Imagine that one of your loved ones was going through the same situation, would you be absolutely fine with it or would you have taken steps to end the abuse and violence? Then why not understand that it is not okay for your girlfriend to hit you and you decide how to put an end to this?
You might have observed that your girlfriend was abusive since the beginning of the relationship. Her behavior was not so normal and you were earlier a victim of emotional abuse like showing excess anger over small things, being overly possessive, and trying to control you. She might have never considered your feelings and freedom and have always controlled who were you with or where you were and even had control over your social media. Maybe you could not understand and respond to these red flags at the beginning of the relationship but you have to understand that your girlfriend canโt have full control of your life through physical violence. Do not let your girlfriend hit you and control your life.
She is Taking Revenge
You might be thinking because you have been a victim of her physical violence but have you been hitting her too? Did you hit your partner or cheated on her in the past? If you did something wrong, then your partner is doing this to you to retaliate for the pain that you caused her. Maybe you hit her just once but itโs not right. Letโs imagine that you cheated or did something really wrong to her, so now you think that itโs normal for your girlfriend to hit you back and show you aggression because you feel you deserve that but this is not normal for a healthy relationship.
If you have abused your partner in the past, apologize for that. Explain to her that hitting is not a solution if you want a long-term relationship. For relationships to be successful, it requires love, respect, and understanding for each other. If she still continues hitting you and threatens to kill or harm you, call the police. She is not the only person in this world and there is no point staying in the relationship if you do not feel loved and safe. Learn to let her go.
She Is Hiding Something from You
Another reason for your girlfriend to hit you can be because she is hiding a big secret from you and it may intentionally strike her to push this situation down by controlling or abusing you so that you do not get to know about the secret. She might be having intimate relationships with someone else and probably cheating on you.
When a person cheats, there is always a guilt that works in his/her mind. Some are okay with it while some do not understand how to process that guilt and then they process that guilt energy on someone else especially on their partners so that they donโt have to explain or justify anything when they get questioned by their partners. So thatโs the reason people hit their partners.
She Is Just a Negative Person
Sometimes people hit others not because of any situation or circumstance but just because they are a negative person altogether and they have an absolutely shit personality. The fact that you have to google this and it shows that you are stuck in a really negative situation and you need to get out of it as soon as possible.
You have to understand that hitting a partner in intimate relationships is unacceptable and the way you respond to it will decide your future. If you continue to normalize your girlfriend hitting you, the relationship is going to get worse. You will be putting not only your but also your loved onesโ lives in danger. Some people never change and continue to treat you badly no matter how many chances you give them. The sooner you understand it, the better, and know when itโs time for you to end the relationship.
Ways to Deal With It
Earlier in this article, we talked about the reasons why your girlfriend hits you or behaves in an aggressive way. The situation is definitely not going to change in just one day if your partner treats you like an object and takes out her frustrations on you. So here are ways. how to deal with it:-
Have a Talk With Her
Sometimes all you need to make a situation right is to talk things out with your partner. Has she been under extreme stress recently or she is under some medication due to ongoing medical problems? The behavior might be fueled by some hardships that are going on in her life and she is not even realizing that she is behaving so aggressively. Choose a nice appropriate setting for a one-on-one conversation with your partner and make her understand that hitting is not an appropriate solution as it is affecting the relationship in a negative way.
Set Healthy Boundaries
You need to understand that your woman abusing you is in no way your fault. So you have to become confident. If you stand up for yourself and set healthy boundaries, then it will be easier for you to deal with your woman. Start communicating your limits and make sure she does not cross those limits by yelling at you or hitting you.
Have a Conversation With Your Friends and Family
You should confide in the people you trust so that they know about your situation and if you ever get in trouble, they are just one call away. You do not have to share your personal matter with anyone and everyone around you but you can assess the situation and confide in the people you know you can have faith on.
You Have to Practice Restraint
No matter what the situation, violence is never a solution. Imagine if you are getting hit by your girlfriend and you hit her back, it is obvious that as you have more physical strength compared to her, she can be more dangerously hurt and in the worst case scenario, she may lose her life. That can worsen the situation and you can end up in jail. So you should have self-control in such situations.
Try to Document the Abuse
If the abuse is increasing day by day and you are planning to register a complaint, make sure to document everything. It is a sad thing but true that women are always innocent until found guilty and men are always guilty until found innocent. So, if you seek legal help, you will have to present proof to the court for your defense. so, if you have any voice or video recordings of your woman hitting you, that will act as a savior to your case and your girlfriend cannot put any false reverse cases on you.
Protect Yourself and Contact Authorities
If the situation gets extremely out of hand, do whatever you must protect yourself and your loved ones. If you are stuck in a dangerous situation, you need to get out of that place and if you are unable to do that alone, you can even take the help of domestic abuse services. You wonโt have to worry as they wonโt notify your girlfriend and their main focus will be to get you out of that situation. Men often tend to hide these cases as they feel getting assaulted is a threat to their masculinity and everyone will make fun of them. Understand that abuse, if not reported, can even threaten your life. So call the police and seek help if the situation demands so.
Final Thoughts
Take relationship abuse seriously whether itโs emotional, physical, or sexual. If itโs just a one-time thing and your woman is currently dealing with stress, medical issues, or any past trauma, chances are there that you will be able to get out of it by understanding and supporting her but if it is more serious, then you need to look for safety. If you are currently dealing with domestic violence and physical abuse, get out of that relationship and seek the help of authorities or even visit a therapist if needed. At the end of the day, you deserve a happy and healthy relationship.
FAQs
1. What should I do if my girlfriend is mad at me for no reason?
There are possibilities that your woman is dealing with stress and trauma, so thatโs why, she must be lashing out at you. All you can do is to understand her, stay calm, and not invalidate her feelings. Give her time to vent out and she will be normal in no time.
2. Will people make fun of me if I contact authorities for domestic violence?
Domestic violence is a very serious issue and if it is getting out of hand, you have to contact the police for your safety. Noone is going to make fun of you for that and even if some people do, you have to understand that those people are not going through the situation that you are and there will be so many people who will support you and most importantly your loved ones.
3. Should I forgive my girlfriend after physical abuse?
No, you should not forgive your woman because someone who loves and respects you can never abuse you. Do not think that if you forgive her, she will stop the abuse. However, if she decides to get counseling and tries to work on her anger management, you can consider forgiving her and taking a break from the relationship if the situation demands so.
Last Updated on by kalidaspandian
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