You must have heard the word cheating, but have you ever experienced it? Most of us have experienced this at some point in our lives. This feeling is so tough that one cannot express it easily in words. But the one who has experienced or gone through it knows how terrible this feeling is.
Still, we all need to move on in our lives. It is possible by not giving any shit about your cheating partner. You’ll get to know how to forgive cheaters in this article. As forgiveness is the first step to moving on in your life.
There must be so many queries that are constantly running into your mind about forgiving cheaters but go through the whole article as you’ll find out all the answers that are currently bothering your mind.
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1. Is Cheating Painful?
Whenever someone cheats, the first thing that we ask ourselves is “why”? It is one of the heartbreaking phases that you also agree with. Apart from relationships, people get cheated in friendships.
Each individual has their reasons, and several factors are also responsible for this. We can’t point out any particular reason. But no matter the reason behind cheating, in the end, it is painful.
2. Why Do People Cheat?
Here are some common reasons:
2.1. No Connection
In every relationship, a connection between two people is necessary. Because once they lose their connection, their relationship could end at any time.
Due to a lack of connection, they couldn’t share anything with their partners. If they find someone else in this situation, they will cheat on you. So, having a connection with your partner plays an important role.
2.2. Low Self-Esteem
Most of you must be thinking about how people with low self-esteem can cheat as they already have low confidence. They can’t cheat.
People with low self-esteem want validation or attention from others. If they don’t get it, they do different stuff to attract people. And they do such things due to the feeling of insecurity.
Overall, your partner tries to get that validation from others. Because of this, they end up being a cheat on you.
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2.3. Lack of Romantic Gestures
In a romantic relationship, the gestures of love are one of the necessary factors. When these gestures start decreasing in a relationship, understand that the love, care, and affection between the two also diminishes.
Due to the reduction in romance, your partner will choose the path of cheating in search of another love.
2.4. Sexual Addiction
A lot of relationship ends because of one of their partner’s infidelity. People addicted to sexual behavior are most likely to cheat as they can’t be loyal to one person.
These kinds of people do not have long-term relationships with anyone. When they realize their physical needs with one person are over, they try to find someone else for their desire by cheating on their current partner.
2.5. Traumatic Experience of Childhood
Some unresolved childhood issues that still affect the person can be the cause of why they don’t want to stay in a relationship.
Maybe during childhood, your partner has witnessed something traumatic that made him emotionless. Childhood traumas are the worst because it makes the person heartless. They do not emphasize with anyone and become affection deficit.
Due to all these factors, they cheat in a relationship as their childhood wounds haven’t cleared. Whenever they sense attachment to another person, they walk away from them.
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3. How to Forgive Cheaters?
Forgiving someone is not easy, especially for someone you love the most. The person around whose your life revolves, the person you trust the most, and when they cheat but you have to forgive them is never an easy job to do.
It requires a lot of courage because you need to be mentally strong. And to move on in life, you have to forgive them. Therefore, here we are with some tips that can be useful to you in the process of forgiving someone.
3.1. Acceptance
Accepting the reality of own relationship is the first thing to do to forgive someone. It’s not easy but is necessary for your mental health.
Accepting the reality that you have been cheated by the person you love the most isn’t easy as it needs a lot of guts and strength. The feeling of betrayal isn’t easy to handle.
Most people get into depression or other mental health problems because they feel betrayed. It is a painful feeling, but we all have the right to move on from the past.
Nobody should be stuck in their past as they should step forward towards the future with a smile. To stay happy, you don’t need to feel anything for your ex, not even anger. It is only possible when you’ll forgive that cheater.
Accepting the truth may be painful and challenging because you need to fight your emotions. This process does not take place quickly because it needs time. And each person needs a different period to get over their ex and move on.
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3.2. Take Time
Forgive a cheating partner won’t happen overnight as it’s an emotional connection, and that’s why it consumes time. Let yourself feel whatever you are experiencing, and then you’ll be ready to move on.
Forgiving a cheating partner will not happen overnight because it is an emotional connection, and that’s why it takes time. Anyway, we have no authority over our emotions. Allow yourself to feel your inside emotions.
If you suppress your emotions, it will be more painful. Still, after trying so hard, you feel an emotional breakdown, consider a relationship therapist for your help.
3.3. Healthy Relationship
To move forward in life, you need to have a healthy relationship, not with anyone else but with yourself. A person who is damaged or in a healing process needs to make a great relationship with themselves.
You need to recognize your self-worth as you need to handle yourself alone. No one can understand the suffering or pain that you are going through.
Having a relationship with yourself is necessary to forgive a cheater. In this process, you have to fight your emotions. But in the end, it’s effective, and you’ll feel good after completing it.
3.4. Date Someone Else
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After completing all three steps, you’re ready to date someone else. Just after breaking up with your cheating partner, if you enter into a new relationship, it can come under the “rebound” category.
Once you move on from your ex, you will be free from your past. Also, it will be less painful for you to forgive the cheater. But of course, it does not mean you have to find someone else immediately because it is not a good sign.
Let’s not make this point complicated: the only meaning of this point is that if you find someone else and feel something for them after knowing that your partner is cheating on you, then it’s alright to go for the other.
Most people enter into a new relationship immediately after breaking up because they want to attract their ex-partners. It is fantastic if your new relationship isn’t like this.
You should not let your past affect your future, and if you cannot do this, it will be hard for you to forgive a partner for cheating on you.
And that’s why it’s important to have a healthy and good relationship with yourself so that you can move on and give chance to another person.
3.5. Take Closure
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Before ending your past relationship, take closure from your partner to know what went wrong and why things didn’t work. Not knowing the reason won’t let you move on.
In addition, you won’t give chances to new relationships as you’ll always have questions in your mind “why your partner cheated on you”?
It is also possible that you will blame yourself for your partner’s infidelity, and it’s not right because without knowing the reason you should not blame yourself. Not every time, you should hold yourself to be responsible.
In some relationship cases, the one who cheats blames the other and does emotional cheating on their partner. Do not fall into their trap and blame yourself because you are not responsible for their disloyalty. It’s them who cheated on you.
If you are the one who gets cheated, you aren’t at fault. Don’t even try to blame yourself because you are the one who is being honest so how can you blame yourself?
3.6. Communication
Communication is considered the best way to clear all the confusion and work on your relationship. Discuss the problems you both feel in your relationship, then find the solution together.
We misinterpret our partner’s intentions and assume they are cheating on us. Instead of concluding, we should confront them by communicating.
Maybe it would repair your broken relationship. Also, you’ll be able to decide whether or not you should build back your relationship’s foundation.
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3.7. Analyze
Try to analyze your relationship and try from your partner’s perspective why they did this to you. Is it worthwhile to forgive them?
All these will be only possible when you are in a vulnerable state which means when you think logically. In this process, you must analyze each action or detail of your relationship, not for your partner but for yourself.
By analyzing, decide whether you should trust them again or let them go by forgiving them.
3.8. Therapy
It is difficult to control yourself, especially when you are hurt. It’s never been easy for anyone. Still, if you can’t let your cheating partner go, you should seek the help of a therapist or counselor as they give the best relationship advice.
Family Therapist is one of the best options because it will be easy for you and your therapist to communicate without anxiety. Both of you know each other, and it would be easy to express what you feel and what situation you are going through.
You can consider online therapy also as you can find the top counselors there. You can share your issues with them. Also, you can choose counselors online and start your session by doing the required things. All the processes that take place are in online mode.
It’s s your inner battle, so therapy is necessary here. When you are unstable emotionally, you won’t be able to make the right decisions. But a therapist or counselor can understand your situation correctly and will suggest you the best solution.
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4. Whether Your Partner is Cheating on You or Not?
Your inner intuition will tell you if your partner is cheating, but before making any accusations against them, you should confirm whether they are cheating on you or not.
Otherwise, your entire relationship will end. Here are some indicators that your partner is betraying you:
4.1. Protective of Electronic Gadgets
If you observe your partner when they find you near their phones or laptops, you will notice they are scared.
It’s a warning sign if your partner won’t let you touch their electronic gadgets. They begin to keep everything private, including social media messages.
4.2. Over-Explanation
If your partner is over-explaining each thing, it’s a sign that they are hiding something from you. They don’t want to let you know about their secret.
They keep explaining until they are not confident that you are convinced. All these things they do to hide their lies, but it’s not easy to keep lying constantly.
It gets caught one day, and the person with whom you are in a relationship can easily detect whether their partner is lying or not.
4.3. Change in Behavior
One of the signs of cheating, according to prevention.com, is behavioral change, which you will notice not only in your partner but also in their friends. Aside from behavioral changes, you sense a lack of emotional intimacy in your relationship.
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Friends know everything about one another, so it’s natural for them to act strangely. Your partner’s friends will also try to save him by telling you false stories, even though sometimes they’ll trick you mentally so that you believe in their falsity.
4.4. Blame Game
Mostly the person who cheats in a relationship blames the other. They put all the blame on the loyal ones so that they start doubting themselves.
Your partner’s goal in making you doubt yourself is to divert your attention from them. Instead of questioning them, you begin to doubt yourself.
Due to the accusation, you feel guilty and do not speak up about the issues in your relationship. Because you think that your partner is already upset, and by having open communication, things can go even worst.
4.5. Changes in Sexual Relationships
Sex is also a necessary factor in any relationship, and if you notice any changes in your sexual life, your partner is cheating on you.
You may feel that your cheating spouse is showing either no interest in sexual activities with you or too much into them. Any slight change in sex life is a symbol of cheating.
According to verywellmind.com, you may learn a lot of new things about sex, and you may also get sexual infections because of your partner’s involvement with someone else.
5. What Are the Pros and Cons of Forgiving a Cheater?
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The person you are forgiving has betrayed you multiple times, but still, you decide to forgive, which is incredibly difficult for you. But you are doing this for your happiness and to get over them.
This forgiveness, like everything else, has benefits and drawbacks. If you are forgiving a cheater, you must be aware of their sequences so that you do not fall into their trap again, as the person who betrayed you once can do so again.
5.1. Pros
Forgiving a cheating partner is an important part of the healing process because it frees you from the relationship that has become nothing more than a burden after being cheated.
Anger issues arise in people who feel betrayed by loved ones. Forgiveness is essential for the mental health of the person who gets deceived. Everyone expresses their emotions differently, but some people do not express their anger at all.
Because of it, they suffer a lot and get under the influence by mental issues. Forgiving a cheater will free you from all the negative emotions of betrayal or pain.
It also helps you understand why your partner has done this to you and gives you the power to move on. After you let them go, you’ll recognize your self-worth and realize you can live a happy and peaceful life without them.
5.2. Cons
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A cheater is a highly manipulative person who plays with anyone’s emotions. Be cautious if your partner falls into this category as well.
Forgiving your cheating partner and moving on with your life is still acceptable, but being betrayed by them and remaining in the same relationship is not.
People who can cheat once can do that again. It will cause you constant discomfort and pain. They might consider taking you for granted as well.
When they begin to take you for granted, they will do all the actions openly. Therefore, you must establish boundaries if you are still in a relationship with them after being cheated on.
6. Can a Relationship Get Back to Normal with a Cheating Partner?
It varies from person to person. Cheating does not only refer to your partner’s affair with someone else due to a lack of love. But other factors are also concluded. If you want to stay together, you can work on your relationship.
A relationship is not easy to maintain because it requires effort, time, and the involvement of two people. Getting back into a relationship with the same person after being cheated on is difficult, but if you have decided to do so, talk honestly and openly with each other.
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Determine the source of the problem in your relationship and work on it. If you’re having trouble analyzing the issues, take couple therapy.
If there is any hope left in your relationship, you can get back into it by working on your problems, but if there is no hope, please let each other move on.
7. FAQs
Do Cheaters Feel Guilty?
It also depends on the individual, but if you forgive them by listening to their point of view and letting them go without any complaints they must feel guilty for deceiving you. They will avoid eye contact with you every time they see you because of their guilt.
However, if your partner is a professional cheater, they will not be concerned with your emotions because they are used to it. They only use people to their advantage. So it all depends on who you were in a relationship with.
Is It Alright to Have Feelings for Your Cheater Partner?
It is okay to have feelings for the person who cheated on you because it’s difficult to stop loving or having feelings for them. Making yourself understand that you must let them go is time-consuming.
A deep emotional connection with loved ones becomes more painful when you discover they are cheating on you. You may be angry with them, which is understandable, and you may want to leave them, but you won’t because of your emotions.
Should Cheating Partners be Trusted Again?
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Someone who cheats on you is said to have trust issues, and trusting that cheater will be difficult. However, it is dependent on people’s attitudes.
A soft-hearted person may trust easily, but someone who has been betrayed or hurt in the past will find it difficult to trust their cheating partner blindly.
Giving them another chance does not imply blindly trusting them. These two terms are not interchangeable. It will take time for people to trust again, as they’re afraid of being cheated by their partners again.
However, it will not last if both partners work together to resolve their relationship issues.
Conclusion
Being cheated by loved ones is the worst feeling ever and isn’t easy to deal with. And cheating takes place because of some factors. By working on the issues, your partner can regain your trust.
Your partner can regain your trust by addressing the issues. You have the option of continuing or terminating your relationship with them.
Moving on isn’t easy, but you need to make yourself strong enough to forgive them and make a fresh start again.
“How to forgive cheaters”? Now you must be aware of the answer. Now, what are you waiting for? Start working on them and free yourself from the oppression of your past.
Last Updated on by Himani Rawat
